The Secret

Can you feel the moment when your life changes?
Someone said you can almost hear it. I want to hear it so I know when it's happening. I thought it did many times in the past, but it wasn't true. Could it happen right now? or tomorrow? this week?this month? They say WE create our world, our luck and our life. I have the feeling sometimes that I am not operating the life's vehicle, I am just going with the flow, standing by and watching how my life goes forward. Why do I do this? Is it because I don't want to be responsible for my own actions? I wish I knew.
I decided to take my life in my own hands. Its not too late. It's about time. It's gonna be so damn hard.
Following "The secret" movie, the things I am greatful for:

1)friends
2)my body
3)my memory
4)my luck
5)the opportunities I didn't miss
6)money
7)help that I recieved from others
8)all the places I've visited
9)my strong will
10)my full spectrum of deep emotions
11) my good sense of humor

I am setting new goals as well and it's going to be more complicated than before. Why? Mostly, because I can honestly say more of my dreams actually came true and I am just 23. I am in the United States right now, I made a parachute jump, I met real friends, who care about me and I finally understood how important it is to appreciate them. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that it can all vanish pretty soon so I am trying to freeze the moment. I imagine myself 1 year from now remembering all these good things that happened to me. Is there a way in the world to stop the change? Why all good things come to an end? Can I just say I don't agree?I want to be in this state of mind forever. I think I've never been this happy in my entire life.

I need to stop saying what I want and start saying what I am going to do and what is going to happen or actually what will happen! so, a few new goals to achieve(not for this year, for life, LETS MAKE IT BIG THIS TIME!):

1)I will speak German and French, whatever sacrifices it takes
2)I will study in United States
3)I will work as stewardess, at least for 1 year
4)I will keep contact with my friends I met here
5)I will win a lottery
6)I will play in a movie
7)I will get a green card
8)I will work in the field of neuroscience or psychology
9)I will be fit and I willl go for a run at least 3 times a week
10)I will find someone who will love me the way I am
11) I will not find comfort in food
12)I will read more
13) I will publish a book

Oh my! It looks like I've got plenty years of pain and misery, but whatever works! These things will give me the feeling of fullfillment. I KNOW what I want, I BELIEVE I can get it and I will celebrate the moment I RECIEVE them.
That's it for today!
Good night!